The first of our anti-McCain posts has been submitted. Perhaps an example of just how one would go about “swiftboating” him (ie using Rovian jujitsu). Thanks to Bill from Florida.

We heard - yet again - tonight, from both Senators Obama and McCain himself what a great American hero McCain is. We’ve been hearing for weeks - and it seems to go without question - that McCain is the one candidate who is “ready to be Commander in Chief on Day One” and that he has all this military expertise and so on.

Okay, he served and served more or less honorably, but - hello - he was CAPTURED. He was shot down and frigging captured.

McCain started out as a sub-par flier and crashed an A-1 Skyraider into Corpus Christi Bay during a practice run in 1959. In 1962, he flew a plane into power lines in Spain and crashed again. So they made him a flight instructor at Naval Air Station Meridian in Mississippi. In 1965, he experienced a flameout over Norfolk, Virginia, and crashed another plane.

In 1967 - and this one wasn’t his fault (unless one considers the very real possibility that the man is a freakin’ jinx) - McCain was serving on the aircraft carrier Forrestal at Yankee Station in the Gulf of Tonkin. The crew was preparing to launch an attack when a Zuni rocket from an F-4 Phantom was accidentally fired across the carrier’s deck. The rocket struck McCain’s A-4E Skyhawk, dislodged two bombs and ruptured the fuel tank. He escaped from the burning plane, but seconds later one of the bombs went off, killing 132 sailors, wounding another 62, and destroying twenty aircraft.

Less than three months later, while attempting to attack a thermal power plant in Hanoi, his plane was shot down by an anti-aircraft missile. McCain ejected from the plane and parachuted into Truc Bach Lake, where he nearly drowned. The rest, of course, is history: Presto! Instant Hero.

But, come on - this is supposed to be the guy with all this military expertise? Dude can’t even keep a god-damned plane in the air. Sorry, but his distinguished military record does not exactly inspire confidence. And, heh, this is his biggest selling point?

We are in so much trouble…

Not that we approve of Rovian techniques…but I suppose it would make as good an e-mail circular as the Obama is a Manchurian Muslim shit that’s been going around. At least the record here (in terms of mishaps and crashes) appears to be true.

By the way, has anybody else noticed the resemblance Sen. McCain bears to Iron Maiden album cover mascot, Eddie the Head?

Just sayin’.

To see where a candidate stands on an issue, visit Issue 2008